Pain, a part of growing up...

Part of growing up is experiencing pain. How i hate that phrase, haha! I've read it and heard it countless times. In books, or in the movies, when tragedy strikes, (tragedy might be a strong word, but you get the picture...) and the hero or heroine is going thru a painful and difficult time, those words of comfort always come up. It is true, since pain and hardships are unavoidable in life, except for a very few blessed people who sail through life on a breeze, blissful and always happy. However, knowing pain is unavoidable hardly makes it less painful, =|

Like every other person, i have my share of hardships, or problems, as we normally call them. Little children forced by circumstances to become the breadwinner for the family; losing a parent to a disease that has no cure; starvation and poverty in poor countries...My issues are very very trivial compared to these, and they seem incredibly selfish to actually call them problems, but the thing is, however small they may seem to others, it doesn't make the pain easier to bear.

I've been going thru a very trying time for me lately, caused mainly by my break up. I suppose that will make me sound like a girl who was extremely dependent on her boyfriend, but that is not the case. It is only that i have never been in a relationship prior to this one, and to experience the pain after a break up was the first for me. I've seen others go thru it, but i never realized how hard it was until now. I suppose you cannot tell exactly how awful the experience is unless you have suffered thru it yourself...Suddenly everything was different, the situation changed, and i was forced to deal with it.

When it happened, i lost someone i had depended on for so long. It doesn't mean i clung to him for everything, but it was a comfort to know that there was someone who was always there, ready to listen, willing to help, caring for me...It was to me, losing an emotional support. And i found out i didn't really know how to handle it. I tried hard to boost myself up, doing things to make myself happy, keeping myself occupied, but it's much easier theoretically. I became depressed, i lost a lot of enthusiasm for everything, i moped around always, never feeling properly happy. It seems very dumb, especially when i know i have wonderful friends, and a loving family. But sometimes, it's hard to remind ourselves of how lucky we are, how blessed we are when we are absorbed in our worries. It was a very trying time, and very very painful emotionally...

I went thru alot of stages; pain, anger, denial...=) But I am much better now though. I haven't bounced back completely, but at least I am on the road of recovery. Time heals everything...I am just waiting for that time to come sooner than later for me. For now, pain will still be there, but I am learning how to deal with it with better grace. Being sheltered might keep you from harm, but hardships help us in the sense that they teach you, and make you a stronger person if you learn to accept them. As they say, pain, a part of growing up...

Things change, people change, but it doesn't mean you forget the past and try to cover it up. It simply means that you move on, and treasure all the memories.
- Alicia M. Boxler -